15 February 2012

Surprises come in all shapes, form, sizes.. and colors too. Little did I know, today was going to be one giant surprise. I woke up at 5am, showered, got dressed, did my make-up.. you know, the normal. I left at 6 in the bitterly cold, February weather we have here in So Cal, fought the wind, and eventually made it to school. Throughout the day, things continued to change. My classes were cut shorter, I actually did pretty well on a test I wasn't prepared for, and I got to see some really amazing people. I must say though, the weather was the best surprise of all. By 12 it was raining, and shortly after, it was snowing. So here I am, at 2:38pm, sitting at my desk, writing to you. I can't begin to tell you how beautiful the snow that's falling is.. Gigantic snow flakes, pure white, floating down to Earth like a little piece of Heaven itself. Days like this make me think of my Mom, who used to always celebrate the snow, because it meant school would get cancelled and we could stay home together to enjoy the warmth of our home. It's beautiful how nature creates such amazing things.. rain, snow, hail, lightning, thunder, etc. It's funny for me, someone not religious, to think about people thanking God for such beautiful weather, when, at least for me, I always thank Mother Nature. As I type away, the snow is beginning to fall much harder and quicker.. hopefully it doesn't stop anytime soon. I'm enjoying writing, watching the snow, and listening to my secret love, Coldplay. Memories keep coming to mind, making my mind drift to places I haven't been in so long.. times with my past love, my mom, and even as a child playing in the snow outside with my siblings. When I close my eyes, picturing the snow in front of me, all I can hear are the sounds of my music drifting in the background and car tires dragging along through the wet and soft snow covered streets. That, oddly enough, is one of my favorite sounds. The dead silence of the snow fall, but the occasional cars rolling through my neighborhood.. reminding me of being a kid again. Mom and I used to sit inside during weather like this, waiting for my Dad to come home from his job down in El Segundo. We would hear cars pass by and run to the window, even if we knew in our hearts it wasn't him, but then we'd hear a sound resembling his toyota camry and make a run for the door. The look on my Mom's face when she saw my Dad getting out of his car, safe and sound, was absolutely beautiful. Yeah, they argued a lot, but if you ever thought they didn't love each other, you would have to be clinically insane. Wherever my Mom is right now, I hope she knows I'm thinking of her.. but knowing her as well as I do, the snow was probably all influenced by her, letting me know that I'm on her mind too. Call me crazy, I don't mind. She and I have always been connected, when she passed away, it wasn't just losing a Mom, but a friend.. and even more so, a part of myself. We were one person in two bodies. We had that tight knit connection, where without even having to say a word at all, we could communicate an entire conversation. So today, this post is dedicated to her, my Mom. In about two weeks I will be 18, only a few days later, will be the one year mark of her death. I'm not ready for it, at all.. but I take comfort knowing she's out of pain. Before I write an entire novel, I'm going to end like this; Life is full of surprises, twists and turns you never see coming, whether good or bad. Today, just happened to be one of those, the good kind.