1 February 2012

Sometimes, we are nearly crushed by the weight of our own expectations and others, we gain from the sacrifices we make to succeed. On a day such as today, the first of February, I was finally lucky enough to see myself succeed. I've written many words til the point of blisters, ran many miles, studied many hours, lacked the amount of sleep needed to last an entire day, and worked until I thought my eyes were going to roll out of my head. That's been my life since kindergarten.. believe it or not. I always desired to make my mother proud, since she was so beautiful, brilliant, and the best woman you could ever meet, so I pushed myself passed near impossible limitss. She didn't pressure me, nor force me into any of this, but rather watched me grow and taught me everything I know about who I am. When I felt the devastation of failing my own goal, she was always there to pick me up again and again, telling me that no matter what I did, she would ALWAYS be proud. Those words have stuck by me and contiue to stick nearly a year after her death. When I close my eyes, it's her smiling face telling me how PROUD she is of me. And today, I'd like to think I made her extremely proud. Today, I crossed the line from childhood to adulthood by accomplishing one of my all time biggest goals. Though, I won't be 18 until the twenty-eighth of this month, I'm quite certain today I became someone. After a long day and a constant battle to stay away, I came home in a melancholy mood, but day dreamed of the next coming months when I'd leave for college. I spoke to my oldest sister, Marisa, about the excitement of leaving for a new place to start over. I thought I had already made up my choice, fearing I wouldn't make it into my top choice University, drolling over the campus map of the University of Washington. I decided to chek my email, out of pure boredom, to find an email from my admissions counselor at the American University of Paris, titled, "Congrats!" So I decided to open it, thinking it would just say thank you for applying.. but instead.. it said I have been accepted to AUP, starting in the Fall of 2012. My heart stopped, everything froze, and the seconds stop going by.. okay I'm being quite dramatic, but for a moment there, that's how it sure felt. In an effort to figure out the meaning behind this, I called Marisa, who screamed and walked me through the steps I need to take in the next few months. Shortly after, my entire family knew. I cried for an hour straight, in disbelief and pure joy. As I started to accept the fact that I could be a future AUP student, I remembered the four gigantic pictures hanging on my walls.. the Eiffel Tower in all different colors, angles, and sizes. My dream of travelling there now seems so much more possible. Though, I have much to decide still and must keep my options open, but at least I was finally recognized for my achievements. Wow, a possible California girl off to start a new life in Paris, France.. who would've thought? And on this note, I shall leave you, dear reader, with one last thing.. Thank you to all the people who have supported me, I wouldn't be here without you, especially my Mom and siblings.